In all honesty, work is a rampage right now & I have negative time at home with renovating our home & looking for a new one. Also, it was our two year wedding anniversary last week! I know, I know, lucky Mr. Ford that I have the patience to tolerate him for so long.
Best of luck to all the brides planning their own weddings this season. Don't go broke! Maybe I'll write a wedding planning advise column in a future post...
I did manage to get out this weekend on Friday night with the lovely maid of honour & the Mister.
We were headed to the exchange district to have birthday drinks with another bride-to-be. I'm not going to go in to great detail about the encounters on the half an hour walk there, but I will say that they included me calling the cops on a booty-short girl walking down Portage offering to sell weed to every young person she came across, ourselves included (Do I look like a stoner to you? And if so(?) what makes you think that I want your dirty street weed?)
Also included, the very attractive maid of honour having someone yell "YOUR SISTERS HOT!" at her, which seems like an odd thing to say to someone you don't know.
And finally, there was a young man a block away from Whiskey Dix yelling at cars & getting in to a fight with his shirt. To his credit, he shut-up when we walked by.
We had a fun night but Mr. Ford was crying about having to work the next morning so we left about 12:30. This is where the rant really commences.
At Portage & Main we came across a woman who appeared to be in her late 20s or early 30s.
She stopped us, and as normal people would do given they just got stopped by a complete stranger, we kept a safe gap between us. This lady was not one of those hobbling half dead zombie bums that will mutter something unintelligible about needing change. This one was a girthy young lady who could probably do some damage if she so chose.
Girthy bum started our chat by rambling that she promised she wasn't crazy & that she never does this, she's just not the type of person.
She then spent a couple of minutes criticising the 'look' maid-of-honour was giving her. Girthy bum believed that 'the look' was inappropriate & that maid-of-honour was judging her based on that look that she had already received ten times that night. 'The look' by the way was blank, with a warranted touch of impatience at that point.
After Girthy bum was done 'breaking the ice' with her random coke rant about 'a look' which she had apparently viewed ten times before so she might have had it confused for 'a human face', she finally proceeded to inform us that:
A-Her friends had taken her out for the night.
B-Her friends had left without her (maybe after she gave them a funny 'look')
C-She was exactly $12.00 short for cab fare home.
D-She had already asked cab drivers (other working people) for a ride but they 'Didn't want to help anybody out'.
She then offered a few seconds of awkward silence because she didn't want to come right out with it & ask for what she could have asked us for 5 minutes ago minus the story.
She then went on to further comment on 'the look' we were giving her (At this point possibly the look of 'Oh you poor little victim, here let me empty my bank account in to your pocket because you made a bad series of decisions & someone else should bail you out'). Following this, was another shpiel of how she wasn't drunk or crazy.
In an effort to prove to us that she was just a one-time-bum & not a career-bum, she then:
A-Pointed to her feet to show us what she claimed to be $200.00 shoes,
B-Referenced her 'fancy' newer Samsung cellphone,
C-Stated that she just wanted to get home to her little girl.
Great. Lay it on thick there lady with more expensive nails than mine. Are you sure that's all? Don't you have a sick grandma you need to buy a plane ticket to visit? How about your cat that just got run over by a car & you can't afford to pay the vet to save it's life?
Mr. Ford must have been on the same mind track. Being that Madame Girth had a Guess purse & being that she had just explained to us that she was a rather wealthy bum, he very respectfully suggested that she go to the bar we were just in as they were still open & had an ATM machine. This is probably my favourite excuse yet:
"That'd be great if I wasn't getting paid until next week."
Funny, I'm not getting paid until next week either yet I still seem to be a good candidate for paying your way.
We respectfully declined helping her & were upset about the encounter all the way home.
I started to imagine what I would do if I was without a ride home.
First thing that comes to mind would be calling someone on my fancy cellphone & apologising profusely to the person I would have woken up.
If I should have become stranded before 1:30, I would know that buses are still running. If I didn't know if they were running or where to catch one, 311 operates 24 hours a day & 7 days a week to tell me so.
I would find an ATM & take out $20.00 because I would never allow myself to have $0 in my bank account. If I ever did, I'd eat the overdraft fee (which is waived in a lot of banking plans anyway).
All in all, I am pretty sure I would rather walk for 3 hours than guilt someone else in to paying for my bad decisions.
All of that being said though, I do worry because I know that purses get stolen, cars get towed & unexpected situations happen. If there was a way of telling that this person actually lost their wallet or get mugged, I would be happy to help out, but the criminals out there are sophisticated & you can't tell. The many people who make lying an art are really ruining it for the few victims who were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
In conclusion, as panhandling is not illegal, I am going to do the bums of Winnipeg a favour & offer you some advice for how to get something from me:
1. If you are hungry, ask for food not change.
2. If you need a ride, ask for bus fare, not change
3. Don't smoke when you are asking for money. I can't afford to smoke & neither should you.
4. If someone gives you money, don't ask for more. There's very few things I can think of more douchbag-gy than that.
5. Don't ask for a specific amount of money. You don't have the right to decide what other people will choose to give as charity/drug money
And finally:
6. If you are trying to buy weed, be up front about it. I won't give you any money to support your addiction, but people will respect you more for your honesty & you won't completely lose every ounce of your dignity.
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