10. Ignorant dog-patters
Oh naivety. You can't blame people for being dumb can you? Yes. Yes you can.
My dog Luibov is a beagle & she is often taken out for walks. I cannot tell you how many times people, particularly people with small children or babies, will approach the dog as if they are 100% confident that she will love them. Luckily, Luibov is a friendly dog, however she is still a puppy & if you tell your baby "Here go pet the dog, it's a nice dog" & she gets excited & jumps on your baby, I will laugh & tell you you shouldn't be such a bad parent. Don't assume that just because it's a small dog it will be nice & please DO NOT touch my dog without asking me if she is OK with you touching her.
9. Chronic no show-ers
However when I can predict that you are more likely to not show than to follow-through on your plans, we've got a problem.
I have a friend who will say that he or she is coming to every event on the planet, not show & then post on Facebook the next day what a great night out they had with their significant others. NOT COOL.
Don't be flaky because your friends are just going to stop making plans with you. You are not the only person in the world with a busy schedule, responsibilities & a life. Please don't lead someone to commit to time away from their spouse, family, work & household duties only to be blown-off because you didn't feel like leaving the house.
8. People who leave during the last 3 minutes of Jets Games
There are over 10 000 people on the waiting list for Jets tickets.
Mr Ford & I bust our humps to be able to pay for a half season deal which sets us back $2400 a year & you want to get out now to beat the traffic? Not only that but you want all the people in your row between you & the exit to divert their attention away from the game they love so you can leave.
I mentioned once on Facebook that I am the end seat in my row & will be bringing my beard & staff to inform people that they "SHALL NOT PASS".
7. Plane lean-ers
I've done what I feel is a considerable amount of traveling & know what it's like to be an exhausted tourist. Yes, it's something that we'd all like to do in order to feel more relaxed & possibly sleep better but it's only the a**holes that actually have the balls to.
Oh yeah, it's more important that I get to be on a less-steep incline than it is for the person behind me to have the option to cross your legs. Oh you're trying to eat your lunch & I'm asleep? Screw you I guess!
6. Wedding no-gifters
What was important to me is making a commitment to my husband & celebrating my new life with friends & family. My family is a real rag-tag group of oddballs & I know some of them don't have money to spare, but there are ways around that.
I've just spent $30 000 on a wedding, duh I want money to recoup what some of what I spent & start a nest egg, but knowing my family, I did not put presentation only on my invitations.
I'm giving you the opportunity to buy a gift using air miles or HBC points or finding something on sale. Make me a gift for gods sake! But what makes you think it is OK to eat my food, enjoy my music, take my favours & drink from my open bar without offering something? Ugh, of course to add insult to injury it has to be the people who get so sadistically drunk & get mopped off the floor at the end of the night.
If I heard myself saying this before I got married, I'd kick myself in the shins, but after dishing out my life savings to include you in the biggest day of my life & meticulously plan every detail so that you would enjoy yourself, I don't understand how you could think that your presence is gift enough.
5. The Joneses
I lived in West Broadway but went to school in River Heights & he grew up in North Kildonan but went to a school also frequented by East St. Paul kids.
I'm sure there are many other people that can relate to wanting to keep up with those around them, however you must also live within your means & accept that you can't always have the nicest & newest things. That being said, my problem isn't with people who have these things, but people who have them but can't afford to.
Mr Ford has a friend who has to have the newest & fanciest phones as soon as they come out. He sees no reason for him to not have them immediately.
Mr. Ford's friend is not wealthy. He has in fact burned through every cellphone service provider & racked up astronomical debts by constantly upgrading & signing on to things he cannot afford.
Same goes for the guys out there who have to have brand new, tricked out cars but don't have the money to do so. They end up going to last chance creditors & pay over-inflated interest payments for longer than they own the vehicle.Dumb.
4. Line walkers
Groups of people that have to walk horizontally in a line the length of a hallway or sidewalk.
I am more understanding of people who do it when I am walking behind them, I'll assume they are all deaf & can't hear me kicking leaves & making as much noise as possible, but it is unforgivable for people to walk in a line blocking any right of way for oncoming pedestrians.
You have no idea how many times I've been forced to step off the plowed sidewalk & on to the snow pile on the boulevard to get by. If you drive me to this point, do not be surprised when I yell after you
"ITS OK PRINCESSES, I'LL GO IN TO THE SNOWBANK, I HAVE BOOTS!"
Same goes for people holding hands that do not want to stop holding hands in order to allow other people to get by. I will red-rover your hand-holding & make things REAL awkward.
3. People with mis-directed anger
MaryAnne will proudly tell me that if Walmart is busy, she will proudly inform an employee that she does not want to wait to check out........
Oh well WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING EARLIER! I am a Walmart employee making minimum wage & working my butt off to get you in & out as soon as possible, so I'll just call someone in to work overtime right this instance because you don't want to wait!
My other favourite is people yelling at flight attendants when a plane is late. Because last I checked the flight attendants don't serve drinks, they actually drive the planes.
Also, people who get parking tickets. Enough said.
2. Men who try to pick-up women by insulting them
I don't know which one of you weirdo men's magazines told your readers that women will enjoy being insulted by you & that will encourage them to yearn for your approval.
F*CK YOU Keys to the VIP.
No word of a lie, I have been told by a man in a bar, that he isn't usually interested in girls 'as thick' as me.
Another time, I had spent an hour doing my hair & make-up & putting together what I thought was a really cute outfit. If memory serves me right I had a dark blouse with a slimming pencil skirt & I felt AMAZING. Amazing until I started to walk to work & encountered a man who asked me, that's right asked me not told me;
"Look at how white you are, you must not be getting out much this summer hey?"
Dude, when's the last time you've seen a tan red-head? Also, you wouldn't dare tell a black person that they're super-black, so what is appropriate about you pointing out that I am a (freaking GORGEOUS) pale person?
My response was to let him know that using his logic, he wasn't getting out to the gym much this summer.
1. Outside seat sitters
Mr. Ford & I talk weekly about you people. I proclaim loudly that some people must have the option for two seats & Mr. Ford whacks them with his backpack while going down the aisle.
Conclusion? Be aware of your surroundings. If you have to think twice about whether it's appropriate to do something, don't do it.
Also, don't insult red-heads. We'll let you have it & we really don't need any more people thinking we're crazy.
No comments:
Post a Comment