Monday, 29 April 2013

Ungrateful husband eats all the egg rolls/Seranno fingers/Angry cook

So this weekend we had a small get together for ungrateful husband's 24th birthday.

Husband decided he wanted a potluck. I would have hosted a dinner party but I guess husband just hates my cooking so much that he wouldn't let me cook for all of his friends, so I had to go along with this potluck concoction. I decided to make homemade salsa, black forest cake & spring rolls.

Fresh salsa is pretty straightforward, it only gets complex when you want to can it to make it last for an extended period of time.
I chopped up 8 Roma tomatoes, a green pepper, 1/2 a red onion, some nuked frozen corn, three garlic cloves & a Serrano pepper. I feel it important to mention that you should NOT touch your eyes a week after you've touched a Serrano. I realized only after I dried my face with a hand towel in the kitchen that I had rubbed my Serrano fingers on it yesterday & my face puffed up & exploded like a sunburned marshmallow. Also, after washing my hands twice the night before & once that morning I put my contacts on only to feel the wrath of the vision lenses of Satan & twirl around the room crying/moaning in pain/running in to things.

Anyways the salsa was good, if you are going to make this, mince the ingredients up with a good knife so you don't have to waste your life pureeing it to the proper consistency & can drink more wine in the kitchen. Get the tortilla chips that are in the cup form to scoop up the juicies.
For some reason the longer this salsa sits in the fridge the more juice/water you get at the bottom. Luckily, this tastes similar to the salad dressing you get when you order a house salad at a sushi restaurant & nothing goes to waste. Here is Rebecca's badass salsa. If I didn't have guests I would have loaded up this b*tch with so much cilantro & it would have been even better. forest cake. The new bane of my existence. What a freaking pain in the a**.

I don't waste time having to wash a zillion dishes so I just mixed eggs, cocoa, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, vanilla, oil, whole wheat flower & very hot water in a bowl. Put margarine & flower down in two rectangular cake pans, pour in the cake batter & put those suckers in the oven for 35 minutes. After the cakes have cooled, attempt to pop them out of the pans in one piece. Fail miserably & give up for a few minutes. Go back in the kitchen & mould everything together the best you can.

When I first inspected the edges of these cakes I was mad that the corners were crispy. Luckily, if you put it in the fridge overnight the mositure from the rest of the cake will seep over & hydrant them.

Turn one of the cakes upside-down & cover with a can of cherry pie filling (don't go too close to the edges because you'll just make a mess when you put the second cake on top. At this point you've already gone to the LC to try to find 'kirsch' (cherry brandy) to spread in the middle too but since they didn't have any, you've moved on & ignored that stuff.

Now set the other cake upright on top of the first cake/cherry pie filling. This will prove to be difficult because the god damn cake is so moist. Better to do it with two people if you have a significant other who doesn't mind helping you cook for HIS party instead of watching hockey in the basement by himself.

Make icing by mixing 35% cream with icing sugar & flower. Don't be an idiot & use half a litre of cream & then have to figure out what you're going to do with the extra 8 pounds of icing (put it out in the garbage cart that's what!)

Now go back to the grocery store because you forgot to pick-up dark chocolate. Mutter the whole time that you should have just bought a cake for $30.00 & made the birthday boy work a half hour of overtime to compensate for the hit to the food budget. Threaten to beat someone up with your purchases when you are cat-called on the way home.

Spend an hour shaving 60% baker's chocolate with a cheese grater while you watch the vampire diaries in the living room & yell at the dog for trying to steal stray chocolate. Next, sprinkle chocolate flakes over cake. Ponder how the hell bakers get the shavings on the side of the cake. Drink a glass of wine. Improvise by throwing chocolate skip-rock-style at the sides of the cake. Clean-up the HUGE mess you have made in the process.
Finally, drain marishino cherries & arrange on top of cake.

Spring rolls:

Minced Buck choy, leek, carrots, onion, Serranos, cabbage, garlic & shitake. Also great with cilantro, corn, peas, spinach & zucchini. Let minced veggies sit overnight with a touch of oil, salt, pepper & a splash of vinegar.

Lay egg roll wraps out in a diamond shape. Place a tablespoon of filling in the upper-centre of the diamond. Wet finger with warm water & dampen all four edges of the egg roll. Roll the egg roll over top of the filling. Continue to roll until close to the bottom when you can fold the sides in. Cover a non-stick pan with canola or vegetable oil & gently put the rolls in. Turn when browned to taste.
I like dark brown & crunch. My (bad) friend Bryce says that's no good & prefers chewy golden brown. Shake off excess oil & place on a plate on top of paper towels. Serve with plum or hot sauce.
I haven't tried freezing these babies but if I want to delay cooking them for a few days I put them on wax paper on a cookie sheet (not touching) & keep them in a cool or chilled place so they don't get sticky.

I would show you a picture of the spring rolls, but 2 dozen were eaten by guests & of the remaining dozen Mr. Ford gobbled up. I'll show you this instead:

Come potluck/party time, enjoy the bread bowl & spinach dip one of your friends has brought over. Flick your dog's nose every time she gets too close to it with her sniffer. Leave the room unattended while you cook & dumb head does a house tour, come back to find that bad dog has pulled the bread bowl off of the table & licked all of the dip out.
This is the 'poor me, I'm a dog & I think I'm starving so I'll have to steal your salad' face:

I swear to god if it snows today I'm not gonna recycle for A WEEK! I'm not f*cking around mother nature!

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Douchey neighbours

It was only a matter of time folks!

Since my douchey neighbours are such a hit on Facebook, how could I not spread the love?

Mr. Ford & I bought our house from a handful of travelling gypsies in October of 2011. When we went to see the house, we saw a pile of sand in the front yard, multiple cracked windows & bumpy plaster walls.

We looked past all of that because we also saw a lot of character, the most space our money could buy & a sizable back yard for the dog we knew would be in our future.

We brought along our realtor, an ex-realtor family member & a contractor to steer us in the right direction.
The neighbourhood wasn't our first choice, but it was close to where I grew up, easy access to downtown/work & in a really weird/interesting transitioning faze.

On one side of our house we noticed a run down, poorly maintained house with children's toys littered all over the front yard. Little did we suspect, these would be the 'good neighbours'.

To the south of us was a newer house. Certainly nothing fancy but good windows & siding. As we viewed the 2nd floor sunroom on our house, we got a glimpse of a younger couple (late 20s early 30s) getting in to a newer car. This was it, we thought! These look like normal, decent people & maybe we can make friends. HA!

We spent our first Halloween in our house still plastering walls & getting eaten out of house & home by the 8 zillion kids that trick-or-treat in the West End. Weird, we thought. Their car is in their parking pad & the lights are on in the back but their front door was closed & the front lights were off. Maybe they're sick.
It's been two years in a row now. They are home but not giving the kids any candy. Mr. Ford commented that 'of course they wouldn't. That would involve the mole-people venturing out of their mole caves to be decent & civilized.'

Then came the noise complaints. People tend to get brave on the condition of anonymity.

According to the by-law officer 'someone' reported we were working on our roof at 11:00pm. In all actuality we WERE using hand drills to fix up our master bedroom INSIDE our house. So needless to say I am now paranoid to take out the vacuum past ten.

The by-law states that you cannot make an unreasonable amount of noise past 9:00pm.
I take this to mean that you can't mow your lawn, jackhammer your foundation or anything else outdoors that omits a din. I still don't think someone using a hand drill/saw inside their insulated home to make a house better & in turn possibly increase the value of the neighbourhood is a terrible thing.

Obviously neighbours do. Because once the by-law inspector's visit didn't allow them to hear the sound of a pin drop as soon as it got dark (in the west end!) they started to call the cops.
On numerous occasions I could look out my window to see a squad car casually park in front of my home, two officers step out of their vehicle, get right back in & drive away.

On a day that stupid dumb-head left the door open when coming home from Home Depot & then started to drill, I got to speak to two VERY handsome officers investigating the complaint. After they concluded that I wasn't a psycho, we talked about my dog & I apologized that they were forced to get called out to waste their time talking to me whilst there are rapists & paedophiles & drug dealers running around (THIS IS THE WEST ENNNND!!!)

On the weekend Mr. Ford & I were in the kitchen on the slippery tile practising our hockey fight reenactments after a particularly high intensity Jets game. Neighbours 1 & 2 pulled up in to their parking pad & our immediate thoughts were 'For craps sakes if some more cops come to our door because you two can't mind their own beeswax & look inside our house to see what we're doing, we're really going to have a problem'.

Model citizens next door don't kill the half a billion weeds in their yard (which is also a by-law infraction that I could report however some of us reasonable people would rather think of a tactful way to bring it up instead of making an anonymous call) and in turn I have to work harder to keep my lawn weed free. They don't rake & they don't shovel snow (I feel so bad for the mail lady).

What also confuses me about crazy neighbours is that they know who we are. We are not high turnover renters or people in a rooming house going in & out. We are owners just like them. They have talked to us & I would assume that they know we are reasonable people.

One day male neighbour sees Mr. Ford exit the house & asks him if we could put an extension on our downspout so that water would drain away from their property. He said that he had had some flooding in his basement.

Basement flooding? Now let me make two things clear. If we were draining water from on top of our house in to our own yard, wouldn't we be the first people to flood? (we didn't). And the other thing: If darling neighbours had had their property graded properly, there would be no way water could 'climb' up a perch to seep in to their foundation. Gravity doesn't work that way.

None the less we immediately agreed, went out, then & there to buy a hose extension & later that summer paid $3500 to have our whole eaves system re-done. Your welcome neighbours, according to your logic we just stopped your house from flooding, I guess we're good people!

If I've learned anything from this, it's that living in a community means you have to be conscious of other people. Even people with a crawfish up their ass.

It also means that you have to respect the diversity of the people that live around you & realize they might not have the same values or lifestyles as yourself.
And finally, I'm learning that when dealing with most social situations in life, you have to pull up your panties & confront things. It's might seem less stressful to take the easy way out but it seldom ever ends that way.

You don't want to have to live beside people who turn on the TV & immediately scream "SHHHH DON'T TURN THE TV ON, THE NOISE MIGHT FRIGHTEN THE MOLE PEOPLE"

Thursday, 18 April 2013

The let-downs of being an adult

Mr. Ford is criticising my ability to blog about hockey (Who'd have thought?) So I'd like to take a break to delve in to other matters.

I think we can all relate to our fantasies being crudely shredded by the psycho b*tch that is reality.
We were all children once (I think). So here, presented for your enjoyment are some points I've compiled with fantasy situations & the reality of the situation.

Today's topic: An array of childhood fantasies about being an adult & the reality of being an adult counterpart.

Fantasy: I'm 15 years old mom, I've wanted a piercing since I was 12. They look so cool & I want to express myself & be bad-ass. You know damn well that I'm just gonna go on my 18th birthday & do it anyway, just sign the damn permission slip (MaryAnne: "no").

Reality: Well I showed you didn't I!?
I DID go to the body mod shop & get a piercing on my 18th birthday. HAHA mom don't you look dumb now.
Then I got another one and another one & another one & another one until I had 7. Now I'm out about $350.00 & my boss doesn't know that underneath this communications machine, there are a lot of holes from a vengeful first 3 years of being an adult. This is because I push a steel ring in to my nostrils before 8:30am.

Don't get me wrong, I love piercings, but it seems the older you are the more work they are to maintain & to work around. Likely because although you might get away with a pusy, swollen, infected piercing at school, That sh*t don't look good in an interview. Good luck getting that food industry job you want.

Fantasy: Adults have credit cards, they can buy whatever they want whenever they want it. When I turn 18 & get a credit card, I'll be rolling in the honeys!

Reality: Credit cards are the most evil thing to come out of corporate America since (and probably prior to) Monsanto.
They are genius in their role as a corporation, which is to benefit their stake holders.

Whenever I hear something perplexing that makes our society sound like oxymoronous boneheads, I try to imagine myself explaining it to someone from a foreign, remote society.

FOB: Oh hey Ginger, what's this plastic thing that got mailed to me with the word 'Mastercard' on it?
Me: Oh no Zafrulah, don't use that, it's a bad idea. You buy things with that card & then if you don't pay it back with ACTUAL money quick enough, they charge you 27% interest.
FOB: What? That's outrageous. I'm never using this ever. But I found some really nice avocados online that I'd like to order, can you help me buy them?
ME: Oh, then you need to use the credit card.
FOB: No! I won't, that is crazy. I am not going to pay 27% interest, I am going to save all my money to put a down payment down on a car & a house.
Me: Oh sorry, I forgot to mention, to have the things you want in life you're going to need to buy things on your Mastercard so that the loan companies can check your credit & loan you money to buy bigger things. Make sense?

Fantasy: Yay when I have my own house all the mail will come to me! I'll have so many letters from my dear pen pals & loyalists! They'll write to me about how much they love my blog & how honest & funny I am!

Reality: A or B or both.
A- You buy your house from a pack of travelling gypsies & every piece of exciting looking mail turns out to be for 'Shoshanna the goddess of night'. Lady, if you want your tax return, it's on top of my fridge.

Or B- Lorin McLaughlin comes to your house everyday to drop off a piece of paper to 'remind' you that she is a real estate agent & that you own a house. FACK I almost want to let her sell my house just so she'll go away & stop leaving her mug shots in my mailbox EVEN AFTER Mr. Ford very kindly asked her to stop as she was wasting paper.

Fantasy: Oh boy, when I'm older I'm going to have to shop for groceries & I'm going to buy all of the things I like! Screw you mom & dad, there'll be no more no name digestive cookies for me!

Reality: Another A or B or both.
A- HOLLY F*CK when did cereal become 6 bucks a pop? This is ridiculous. I know the master plan behind this. They'll make you spend $12 on two boxes of cereal, you won't have enough left in your food budget to buy much of anything else so you'll be stuck eating cereal for breakfast & dinner, run out in a week & have to buy MORE CEREAL! When I have babies they're eating toast for breakfast.

B- Oh my god maybe buying a week's worth of black forest cake wasn't such a good idea... Now I'm a fat lard. I want to go back to my mom's house & eat low calorie canned pears.

Fantasy: Why won't you let me have a dog/cat/hamster/seagull/peacock/alligator? I'll take good care of it, you won't even know it's there? OH FIGS I can't wait until I'm older & I can have soooo many pets.

Reality: Mr. Ford & I have 4 pets. We don't own them, they own us. Sometimes I feel like I am their slave.
Before anyone comes over we vacuum & I STILL have to recommend that our guests do not wear white.

Mr. Ford also has to scoop cat poo probably twice a week because I won't allow myself to breath the ammonia & have mutant babies from poisoned eggs. (Side note: Does anyone else have cats that see you scooping litter box poo & decide that they need to barge in & take a sh*t right then & there?)
It means that Mr. Ford has to scoop dog poo off our deck & in to the neighbour's yard once a week as well.

I adore my pets. But sometimes they're just a**holes. And I look pretty stupid going off on a tangent on the dog for losing all it's hair on the new area rug.

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

Ladies & gentleman, your centres!

I've had an influx in hits from Russia since I started talking about hockey. Who am I to discriminate?

Nik Antropov:

Age: 33
Height: 6'6"
Weight: 245lbs
Origin: Ust-Lamenogrorsk Kazakstan (heeeeeeeeeey MACARENA)
Salary: $4,062,500
Availability: Married with kids.
Comments: Oh Antropov, I truly, desperately wish you were a better player. This guy is huge & could be an absolute damage inducing psycho on the ice but just doesn't seem like he gives a sh*t. (I've already got my 4 million dollars I stole so eff you guys!) Also, slow as hell.
On the bright side, although he's a disappointing player this season, he has the sexiest baritone voice I've heard in my life & one of those accents that makes you think 'oh my goodness what a fascinating place you must come from' & not 'Oh for f*ck sakes stop talking this is painful'.

Overall grade: C

Bryan Little:

Age: 25
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 185 lbs
Origin: Edmonton Canada
Salary: $2,383,333
Availability: Long term relationship.
Comments: Lots of hype around this one. I just don't know if I can fit on the bandwagon.
He's on the first line with Ladd & Wheeler & I feel like you could put a flip-flop on the ice with them & they'd still at least get some great shots. Kinda reminds me of Goldilocks & the 3 bears.

Overall grade: C+

Alexander Burmistrov

Age: 21
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 180 lbs
Origin: Kazan Russia
Salary: $1,500,000
Availability: Supposedly had or has a Russian girlfriend?
Comments: Mr. Ford's favorite player despite all my chirping.
I acknowledge that this guy has some puck-handling skills. He wins face offs & is always chasing the guy with the puck. All that being said, I don't know why he has so few goals to his name. What's holding this kid back? He's been tried on multiple lines, maybe he's just a dick & on one has any chemistry with him.
On a personal note, I wouldn't want to be barely an adult & moving to a different continent where I don't know the language. He seems to be good natured despite the odds being against him.

Overall grade: C+

Olli Jokinen:

Age: 34
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 210 lbs
Origin: Kuopio Finland
Salary: $4,500,000
Availability: Married with 2 daughters.
Comments: When I first heard this old guy was coming to the team I was thrilled! We are a young-gun team who could use some good veteran leadership. I'm not sure we're getting it though...homeboy needs to step up.

Overall grade: D

Kyle Wellwood:

Age: 29
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 181 lbs
Origin: Windsor Canada
Salary: $1,600,000
Availability: Married with a baby.
Comments: Wellwood looks more suited to being someones secretary than a hockey player.
He is of average height & build which makes him a pipsqueak in hockey.
He is getting flack for not producing this year, but I refuse to give up on him. He's small but durable so far...unlike his small man counterparts. Couch, cough, *ENSTROM* cough.
I think he's just got to get in the right line.

Overall grade: C

James Wright:

Age: 26
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 186 lbs
Origin: Quesnel Canada
Salary: $562,500
Availability: The name of that city makes me want to eat Quiznos.
Comments: This picture makes him look like an alien.
Overall grade: Let the aliens choose.
Overall grade: You tell me?

Aaron Gagnon:

Age: 23
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 200 lbs
Origin: Saskatoon Canada
Salary: $560,000
Availability: Oh look at me, I'm Mr. secretive, I don't let people on the internet know what I'm doing with myself. Lou-dee-doo!
Comments: I got nothing.

Mike Santorelli:

Age: 27
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 189 lbs
Origin: Vancouver Canada
Salary: $1,600,000
Availability: I guess someone will just have to check & find out.
Comments: What a fun name! San-to-rel-lee!
Overall grade: Christmas!

Eric Tangradi:

Age: 24
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 221 lbs
Origin: Philadelphia USA
Salary: $726,000
Availability: Wow, look at you? Well aren't you thicker than a Snicker...Sorry, what were we talking about?
Comments:  A newbie with thick skin apparently. I appreciate that this guy is gritty as I feel like Glass's departure left a big voice up front.
Overall grade: Snickers

Wednesday, 10 April 2013

A women-centered guide to Winnipeg Jets defensemen

I don't claim to know everything about hockey, but being married to Mr. 'My strange addiction: hockey addition' forces me to know a thing or two.

A day in Mr. Ford's life consists of: playing hockey, mucking around in fantasy hockey, going to a Jets game, going home to watch the end of another game, watching the highlights of the games he's already watched (usually more than once because Sports Centre plays on a loop), playing NHL on PSP, reading the hockey news magazine, catching up on hockey commentator tweets then looking at the league standings on Game Centre.
I've already lost him to his hockey mistress & accept that he's not coming back. So if you can't beat em' join em.

Whiners with nothing else to do need not try to tell me that I'm not a 'real' fan because of what I enjoy about the game. That's crap. I love the game. So if appreciating the men on the ice makes me a bad person, well then I guess I am a very naughty girl.

Without further ado, here is my (female friendly) analysis of the Winnipeg Jets starting with the D men.

#33 Dustin Byfuglien:

Age: 28
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 265 lbs
Origin: Minneapolis, USA
Salary: $5,200,000
Availability: Long time girlfriend & new baby girl.
Comments: Nothing against the guy, but why is his name not pronounced properly? BY-FOOG-LEE-IN!
Buff is a beast. Looks great in Under-Armour.
I think he's got amazing potential to be a huge force (Hey I'm a freaking 6'5" monster, you wanna go?) but he interviews like he's just eaten a bowl of Ritalin.
I'm kind of disappointed in how I expected him to preform (based on how great he was in Chicago) & how he's actually producing for the Jets.

Overall grade: C


#44 Zach Bogosian

Age: 22
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 215 lbs
Origin: Massena, USA
Salary: $2,500,000
Availability: Says he has a girlfriend in the states? Kinda/sorta dating Earl's girls here?
Comments: What an Adonis.
Other than giving away a lot of free pizzas (turnovers), I can't say enough good things about this one. I could watch this guy slap shots from the blue line all day. A pretty emotional player which makes for good entertainment in you like a good pushin' & shovin'. Just an all round beauty.

Overall grade: A-

# 6 Ron Hainsey

Age: 32
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 210 lbs
Origin: Bolton, USA
Salary: $4,500,000
Availability: Who cares (married with a kid though)
Comments: Just awful.
Ron seems like a pretty educated & well spoken guy in interviews, but it just pains me to watch him on the ice. No speed, no force & no skill. We should be paying Boston to take him.

Overall grade: D-

#5 Mark Stuart

Age: 28
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 213 lbs
Origin: Rochester, USA
Salary: $1,700,000
Availability: Single
Comments: Stuuuuuuuu has a great jaw line. It's the same as Disney's Hercules.
Unfortunately, he rubs me as one of those guys who's personality is great to make up for being pretty forgettable on the ice.

Overall grade: C

 #25 Zach Redmond

Age: 24
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 205 lbs
Origin: Traverse City, USA
Salary: $875,000
Availability: My Internet stalking skills have failed me...
Comments: A young gun.
I never noticed saw anything to love in him. He's currently getting a lot of press for an injury he suffered that could have killed him:
To his credit, he seems to be a pretty decent guy off the ice.

Overall grade: C+

#39 Tobias Enstrom

Age: 28
Height: 5'10"
Weight: 180 lbs
Origin: Nordingra, Sweden (sounds like the name of an Ikea chair)
Salary: $5,750,000
Availability: Single
Comments: Does well with the ladies:
Too small to be my kind of player so I don't think I'll ever understand why he gets all the ice time that he does. Seems to get pushed around & injured a lot by much larger players. Has enough once in a while though & pushes back. Makes for good entertainment.I have to wonder how someone can be in a perpetual state of always needing a haircut.

Overall grade: C+

# 24 Grant Clitsome

Age: 27
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 215 lbs
Origin: Gloucester, Canada
Salary: $1,250,000
Availability: Married
Comments: Awwwww look at that smile! Look at those teeth! What a pretty, pretty man. I hear his nickname is 'Clitty'.
Another very emotional player but without even hitting six feet, he doesn't have all that much to back it up with. but unfortunately has not stood out as an above average player as of yet. But hey, if his career playing for the Jets goes south, I'm sure he'd sell a lot of jackets modelling for them.

Overall grade: B-

# 23 Arturs Kulda

Age: 24
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 215 lbs
Origin: Riga, Latvia
Salary: $555,000
Comments: I don't know sh*t about this guy. It's fun to say his name & that's about it. Artuuuuurs.

Overall grade: ?

#7 Derek Meech

Age: 28
Height: 5'11"
Weight: 200 lbs
Origin: Winnipeg, Canada
Salary: $700,000
Availability: Married.
Comments: I don't know sh*t about this guy either. Go Winnipeg!

Overall grade: ?

#5 Jacob Trouba

Age: 19
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 187 lbs
Origin: Rochester, USA
Salary: $1,858,333
Availability: Too young anyway.
Comments: This guy just got signed from the University of Michigan & has arrived in Winnipeg...and not because he's finished his degree...
They are making jerseys with his name on them & he hasn't even played a game yet, whaddaya think of that!?
Although not the heftiest guy, he is a heavy hitter. I am enthralled to see what he will bring to the team. I also appreciate that homeboy is white as glue. I just know we'll be best friends forever.

Overall grade: B

#4 Paul Postma

Age: 24
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 195 lbs
Origin: Red Deer, Canada
Salary: $555,000
Availability: I give up.

Comments: Easy on the eyes & I think we can all appreciate THAT! I just wish this kid had a 'thing'. Thorburn fights, Kane gets breakaways, Burmistrov deeks, Postma...interviews well? Much to my dismay, I can't see him being anything more than a fourth liner.

Overall grade: C